The Chicken Returns

More poultry fun, food fans! Debbie called Tesco up last night, to ask for some chicken-related advice. I’m not sure she managed to convey the proper level of dismay to the person on the other end of the phone though, because they were inclined to believe the situation was amusing rather than downright horrific. Anyway, the bottom line is, the chicken is here to stay – Tesco want nothing to do with the pitiful beast. So, I guess I’d better try and find out how to cook the bugger.

Interestingly enough, there was another oddity in our shopping that we only discovered later. We’d ordered some gubbins to make a nice christmassy trifle with, amongst which was a packet of trifle sponges. You know, that orrible dried plastery stuff that goes PTHFPTHFPTHFPTHF into yummy succulent sponge when you dunk it in liquid. Well, it arrived. About eight tons of it! (Well, three packets, but they’re BIG packets).

You’d think our lives would be pretty boring if all I can find to write about are Tescos deliveries, wouldn’t you? But no! Every day is a new adventure. Or something.

Share Button

I see dead chickens

Oh yes, indeed. I have seen the future and it is chicken shaped.

So, Tesco arrived tonight with our grocery delivery. Whilst unpacking, I came across a cold undefinable lump in the bottom of the bag. On pulling it out, it was revealed as an unfeasibly large chicken. By large, you understand, I don’t mean “big”. I mean fecking HUGE! This is Cujo the chicken. Ok, so we eat lots of chicken in chez Dow, but we tend to eat nice polite breast fillets or somesuch – something that generally doesn’t look at all chicken like. Well, this time we have the poor beast in its entirety, complete with feathers and its little feet shoved firmly up its arse. I haven’t the faintest idea what to do with it. Anyone with any suggestions, please send to

Share Button

Don’t kids grow up quickly this days?

Quote of the day from our seven-year-old. Little serious face on: “I’m not quite sure, but I think I might be falling in love with Kirsty. I’m not sure though.”

Gahhhh. What do you say to that? Debbie almost swallowed her own head with mirth, and I managed to choke out “Well, don’t tell her that whatever you do – let her work it out for herself”, while resisting an urge to scream “No! Run away! Don’t let her near you! Oh, it’ll start with ‘ooo’, ‘aah’, and so on, but later there’ll be running! And screaming!”

Still, it’s amusing to watch how it all develops. I have a mental image of Debbie standing Bread-like at the front door screaming “She! Is! A! Tart!”. I am looking forward to Harmony growing up, though. Or, more specifically, I’m looking forward to potential suitors coming to visit. I have a great deal of anticipation for the time when I will become the all-powerful vengefull god of their painful and short little lives.

Share Button

Here’s a thought

I’ve just read in the news that the UK goverment is stockpiling enough smallpox vaccinations to immunise the entire population of the UK in the event of a terrorist threat.

People aren’t routinely vaccinated against smallpox anymore because it was wiped out several decades ago.

So where do the terrorists get it from?

Is it available because, while our nice benevolent goverments were busily wiping out the disease in the interests of the health of their good taxpaying citizens, they were also quarantining and keeping some of the virus aside for a rainy day? Really, how sick is that?


Share Button

Hiding Simulators

Gah, that’s all I can say. Gah. Today, I shall wander up to Castle Street and return Splinter Cell to the branch of game from whence it came. “But why?” you cry, “it’s the best xbox game of the year!”. Because, my friends, it is a hiding simulator. That’s what you do in it – you hide. My beloved wife pointed out to me that perhaps two hours is too long to spend hiding in a bush watching guards, and she was right. Harrumph.

Harmony (who is two) decided to get up for a wander in the middle of the night, and then sprang up again at five in the morning. Problem is, she woke Tristan (7) as well, who came up with the bright idea of wandering downstairs and putting on Teletubbies at an absolutely THUNDEROUS volume. T’ch, eh?

She (Harmony) is turning into a complete bossyboots too. Her new thang is that Dad (moi) has to get a “Kith” whenever I go to work. Problem is, while dropping Debbie and the brood off at the school this morning, she went berserk cos she was out of the car and in the buggy before she got one, so muggins here had to get out of the car in the freezing cold (grumble grumble etc).

It’s no fair.

Share Button

Moving to uJournal

Hello? Anyone home? Ah, there you are. So, what’s all this about then, eh? Nothing much, I suppose – just some vague ramblings about stuff that’s happening. Perhaps I should begin by telling you all a bit about myself – in case you care.

Well, I was born in Mayfield, Scotland (just outside Edinburgh). I wandered about a bit and eventually ended up back where I started. I’m married to a sultry northerner and have three extremely surreal children.

During the day, I work as a UNIX administrator for a web design company, but enough about that. I have more interests than I realistically have time for, but let’s run through them.

I used to write video games. Such as they are, they’re available for free on this site by clicking the Games category on the right.

I write – I’m working on a novel at the moment. I find it very difficult, but I’m determined.

I make beer. So I can drink it. Yum.

I listen to far too much music. All kinds of music. I have a soft spot for Richard Wagner and Pink Floyd.

I’m what you might call a Ripperologist (

Not much too it, huh?

Share Button


To all Nelefans, large and small, bald and furry, odious and shiny, greetings!

May we at Nelefa Towers wish you the grandest, happiest, and most voluptuous New Year possible.

ps. No, I didn’t sit up to send this – I’m too lazy. cronjobs for the win!

Share Button

From the past – on Knight Lore

I’m afraid I’ve been a lazy bugger, and done absolutely nothing of late. Well, I had a gentle poke about Atic Atac, but that’s about it. There just aren’t enough hours in the day right now……

Share Button

From the past

A few corrections here. Andy has pointed out that the Knight Lore graphics were filched from the net somewhere, (although he’ll still get cudo’s for crayoning them in 😉 ). Also, a huge thanks to Steve Smith, who painstakingly snapped each room for me, so I can get the mechanics right.

So, how’s it going, you all cry. Well. I’ve input the first few rooms (the static objects, at least) to test my drawing routines, and they all seem to work perfectly. I’ve not even thought about movement yet (ulp!). I’ll probably release a slideshow demo at some point (similar to Andy’s JSW release) once I have graphics and some music, but that’s not likely to be for a whiley yet.

Anyway, in the meantime – does this look familiar?

Knight LoreKnight Lore

Share Button

From the past

Well, I’ve started. I have the mechanics of the room drawing done, implemented a few structures to hold the room data, got a few routines to draw various room types, and have written the routine to place objects in the correct place for each room type (bearing in mind that block (0,0,0) is in a different place in long rooms compared to square rooms. All I need to do to get a preview going is to build a few linked lists of blocks.

Share Button