Elephant-faced man.
I hit the ground with a thump, danced around a little, and then grinned cheerfully at nothing in particular. The elephant-faced man hit the ground a few feet behind me, but at a considerably higher velocity (due to the additional mass he carried in the center of his face).
“Oho!” I cried, dancing around my nasally extruded companion. “You almost caught me there, but not quite!”
I dashed off again, the elephant-faced man in hot pursuit. As he ran, he trumpeted, and as he trumpeted he thumped with his feet. Thump trumpety thump thump, he went.
I grabbed a firm hold of a passing lamppost and swung around in an orbit made eliptical by the uncannily elastic properties of my left arm. As I swung around, the elephant-faced man shot past me in a stampeding rush of feet and mucous.
“Tra-la-la! Too slow by far!” I bellowed, and stuck my fingers up at him.
Enraged, he wheeled around as fast as someone with an eight stone trunk stapled to the middle of his face can. He bellowed his frustration and thump trumpety thump thumped his way back towards me.
Fortunately, I was prepared for him and ended my orbit by releasing the lamppost and soaring straight over his pachydermically-challenged noggin. I landed on one foot, hopped to the other, shot him the fingers one more time and scampered away.
Exhausted, the elephant-faced man sat down, rested his huge deformed head in his hands and started to cry.
“You’re a complete bastard!” he sobbed.
“Yes,” I called back. “But at least I don’t have a big stupid elephant face!”
My piece said, I swept my huge elephant ears back, and ran like the wind.
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