BBC News Strikes Again

BBC News WebsiteOk, so the BBC, in their usual hysterical manner, have been reporting on the fact that there’s snow. So I thought I should help out by suggesting a headline. Click the image at the start of this story to see it.

Obviously, as they have to manufacture panic to give them something to report on their eleventy-five hours per day news channel, they’ve been giving it laldy about today’s precipitation. I particularly enjoyed the poor struggling newscaster’s obvious discomfort as he tried desperately to think of some way in which TODAY IS THE <INSERT REALLY RARE THING> SINCE RECORDS BEGAN. Sadly, as it’s just a bit of snow, no hysterical hyperbolae were available to insert.

So, in the spirit of helpfulness, I could suggest:

“Today’s snowfall saw the largest single amount of snow to fall on the last third of an inch of a dog named trevor while it was running anticlockwise around a black pudding SINCE RECORDS BEGAN”

or even

“Today’s snowfall has generated more lines of copy, more minutes of dribbling newsreader-splooge, and more minutes of video footage of WHITE than any other snowfall SINCE RECORDS BEGAN.”

I mean, in the name of all that’s sacred – they were away bothering the Prime Minister for a quote! About SNOW! Really, I think he has OTHER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT RIGHT NOW. Like Genocide in Africa. The economy. The melting ice caps. 

Remember, nelefans, the preferred way of visiting the masters of doom and FAIL is by visiting http://armageddon.nelefa.org . The more people who do it, the more likely they are to notice 🙂

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