Day 3 : A near lapse
Almost got caught out by the brain monster this morning while standing waiting to pay for some sugar puffs. The “excuse” was – “Hey, I don’t want to be grumpy with the kids all weekend, why don’t I buy ten cigarettes to cover the weekend then I can get back to not-smoking on Monday?”
Except, of course, I’m not grumpy and my brain wasn’t thinking of the kids it was thinking about itself. I’m still feeling listless and anxious, but generally OK. Needless to say, the cigarettes stayed on the shelf, but it was a near thing.
I think the pacing and fidgeting is probably the hardest thing – the feeling that something is missing. After all, I’ve been smoking for 20 years or so and got into the habit of doing certain things in a certain way. I think this is the bit that the nicotine patch vendors like to use to dupe people into paying exhorbitant sums for their wares. The fact remains that I didn’t need nicotine before I started smoking and I don’t need it now.
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