Wasting bandwidth since 1996

Okay, so there seems to be some confusion about the title of this game. Sometimes GOD eater, sometimes GODS. Who knows what it actually is. In game, the team you work with are known as GOD eaters so we’ll go with that one.

Regardless, the premise is simple. You kill ridiculously large monsters with ridiculously large swords and ridiculously large guns. There’s an amount of corpse-scavenging, an amount of crafting and the whole thing is designed for multiplayer. Sounds just like Monster Hunter, you cry. And you’d be right – it’s very like Monster Hunter. But with one important difference (well, two, but I’ll get to that); it doesn’t have the same brutally difficult leaning curve, particularly with regards to the controls. You can, to an extent, get away with flailing wildly at things in the early missions but you’d do well to learn to duck, weave and dodge. The difference is, God Eater Burst has fluid, fast and responsive controls and (in my opinion) Monster Hunter… doesn’t.

I’ve only played through the tutorials and 1st Tier missions, so I’m not hugely far in, but I have gone backhand replayed missions to improve my rank as well as to just try some things out and see what different strategies yield. All in all, I can see myself spending rather a lot of time with this one.

This shouldn’t be possible. How can I be addicted to a Harvest Moon game again? They’re all the same (more or less) and yet I’ve been addicted to every single one of them. Rune Factory, though, is a wee bit different. Kinda. Sorta. You’re still put in charge of a farm. You still grow crops, upgrade your house, make friends, get married, raise children and all that other lovely Harvest Moon goodness.

Except they’ve added dungeons. And monsters. And levels. And stats. And more OCD-triggering collectibles than you can shake a stick at. In short: I’m doomed.

So anyway, I’ve played the first four hours and here’s what I’ve achieved. Got some land organised, tidied away some sticks to kick start my woodpile once I get an axe, grown some radishes and potatoes and things. Met most of the people in the town – including one called Sharron. I have designs on Sharron. Oh yes

After doing a fair bit of ploughing and preparing the ground, I was given a pass for the first cavern system (which, incidentally, you can plant crops in and which stay the same season! Handy!). Sadly, I almost got ganked by a monster as soon as I went in, and if your HP falls to zero, you die. Not good. So I ran away. I’ve also done rather a lot of fishing. There’s something deeply relaxing about it.

So – plan B. I’m going to leave the caves alone for the first year, at least until I can afford some decent gear.

Oh! And there’s mining.

So, sitting here while Hurricane Bawbag howls around Dow Folly. The power keeps dropping out and, as I’ve had to work from home due to the extreme weather warning, I’m thankful, for once, that I have an ipad.

So, with the house shaking all round me, what better time to post a quick update on DQ9.

I played through the preamble and found that my little angelic character has been punted to earth as a mortal. She’s dashed around a lot doing good deeds, killed roaming monsters, and cleared a couple of rather lovely dungeons.

Now at level 19, I’ve just clambered back up to my angelic home only to discover all is not well.

This is a lovely little rpg with a great combat system (and particularly good companion ai if you don’t want to micromanage), all the stats in the world, and stupendous writing.

So, it’s been a while since I got my teeth into a lengthy RPG on the DS – largely because I haven’t actually owned a DS for a couple of years. My recent acquisition, however, of a shiny new blue 3DS means that I have a huge backlog of JRPGs to catch up on. It seemed fitting that a Square Enix one was first.

Recently, most of my gaming time has been spent on either the brutal-tastic Dark Souls on the 360 or beta testing The Old Republic on the PC. It’s problematic doing this at the weekend due to both my boys nurturing an unhealthy Skyrim obsession – Matts on the PC and Tristan on the 360. So, handheld gaming is where it’s at.

So, while this is a game diary entry, I have to come clean and say that I’ve done nothing more than stick the cart in the 3DS. I will create a character today, and it will be a little girly called Bague (because it’s tradition, dontcha-know) but it’s likely to be tomorrow before I actually start playing. Here’s to the next hundred or so hours of slime-bashing!

Also (whispers) I should probably confess that this is my first Dragon Quest game!

It’s not very often that I get obsessive about a game – usually about once in a generation. In the n64/ps1 generation it was Ocarina of Time; in the xbox/ps2/gamecube generation it was Final Fantasy X.

It’s been a while since something struck me as being generation defining, but Dark Souls is it. By all accounts, I’ve barely started it, having played for a mere eight hours, but its richness, depth and sheer brutal difficulty has already made its mark.

In terms of difficulty, it reminds me a lot of Williams’ Defender. For the first dozen hours of that game, the accomplished player will have concentrated on learning how to fly the damn ship. Shooting aliens comes later. In Dark Souls, the wise gamer will perfect his fighting techniques. The bosses are tough – really tough – but pale into insignificance next to the almost casually brutal ‘general mobs’ that roam around the areas.

Entering a new area involves being mercilessly beaten to death by a few new enemy types. You spend an obscene amount of time making incremental progress through the area, punctuated by frequent messy deaths. Then you get to the boss. And die. Back to the start. Wash rinse repeat.

But it NEVER gets dull and it NEVER gets frustrating. Every time you die, it’s your own fault and you know EXACTLY what you did to get yourself killed. By the time you’re skilled enough (and I’m talking playing skills here, not Mary-Sue equipment) to handle the boss, you’re flying through that previously ‘impossible’ area with all the destructive grace of a ballet-dancing ninja. And then, when against all odds, you take down that boss without taking a scratch – well, that’s the surge of satisfaction that gaming is all about.

Brutally difficult, horrible punishing, and never unfair. This is easily the game of the generation for me.

So, advocacy done, I’ll let you know where I am. I just *finally* killed the Taurus Demon in the first area (after numerous deaths) by using a combination of plunge attacks and well-time axe-blows to the bollocks. Next up, I have a nasty knight on top of a tower to take care of…

Well, that’s the forest temple done now – Ghost Ganon is a fun boss, I reckon – and one of the easier ones. Now it’s back to the Temple of Time to see what I’m up to next.

I’m all growed up now! I finally finished trawling through Jabu Jabu’s Belly after getting myself totally confused because I had it in my mind it was different. The miniboss gave me some trouble too as I have a tendency to lean to the side when I’m running in a circle and this, of course, wreaks havoc with the 3D display. Anyway, I got it all done and then scampered off to the Temple of Time where I was made all growed up

Then it was off to Kakariko village, shortly followed by HOOKSHOT GET!  and WALLET GET!

Navigated the eternally annoying Lost Woods, ganked the irritating spear-wielding thingies, and gained access to the Forest Temple. Time for some crate puzzles.

What? A game diary entry? Surely not! Well, yes! I’ve been suffering from an extended period of gaming ennui of late, largely because between writing and working I never seem to have much in the way of time. On top of that, there really hasn’t been much of any interest happening gaming wise. Then the Nintendo 3DS arrived. I didn’t buy one on launch because I thought the price was really pretty ridiculous, but with the recent drop to around £120, I reckoned it was time to take the plunge (as I don’t currently have a DS of any kind anyway). A contributing factor, obviously, was the re-re-re-re-release of Ocarina of Time.

And oh-mi-god it’s lovely. Really. It’s one of the best Zelda games (in my opinion) to begin with, and in this incarnation it just looks magnificent. Long sweeping vistas, a real sense of depth, and greatly prettificated graphics make it gaming paradise for the likes of me. The placement of the face buttons (and in particular, the sliding joypad thingy) makes it  a cinch to play.

So far, I’ve done the usual Deku tree nonsense and have just arrived in Dodongo Caverns, which is pretty much the first real dungeon. The lighting is exquisite and the 3Dness of it all really brings it to life. It actually felt a bit creepy early on as it really does look like you’re controlling little blokes just through the window of the screen. Loving it so far, though – I can highly recommend both the console and, obviously, the game.

Crumbs! I doubt very much if Blizzard are weeping into their cornflakes at this one, but they probably should be. This is pretty similar to the Lego [Star Wars|Indiana jones|Batman] games, with one subtle difference. It’s an MMO. Yes, a bit like World of Warcraft. But with one major difference. It’s a lot of fun. Rather than spending all your time pointlessly grinding Instance Dungeons in the vain hope that some particular part of epic loot drops, Lego Universe is all about imagination and creativity. You can build just about anything you like. You can go adventuring on your own or as a team. Forget priests, mages and warriors – in this you get to be a ninja, or a pirate, or something equally awesome. And did I mention it’s a lot of fun?

Don’t let the 8-12 target age range fool you – I’m a 40 year old RPG fan and I’m having a blast. As are my teenage ‘twitch-shooter’ addict sons and my ten year old daughter. Everyone is getting something out of it.

So, while Blizzard needn’t be worried about losing subscribers to LU, they could take the lesson from it that mindlessly grinding 500 raptors in the hope that ten of them will drop a head (!) is less entertaining than building ‘poofy’ the giraffe out of lego and charging around the landscape on him.

Been stuck at the mid-level boss fight with Butthead, Elvis, and Barf, for about six months – not because it’s especially difficult, but because I hadn’t levelled sufficiently before entering the mission. Once in there, of course, it’s win or game over. No backing out. Anyway, I worked out a technique this afternoon, that enabled me to beat them, but was left with such a small amount of health that the bug swarm immediately afterwards ganked me, making me do it all over again. Honestly, Sonic Team, there are such a thing as save points you know.

Anyhoo, Chapter 6 is finally complete and I’ve learned my lesson – time to get levelling in earnest before continuing story mode. Don’t know what I was thinking – I’d never have done anything so daft in a final fantasy game (or I’d have at least kept more than one save).