See? I told you! Nothing is sacred any more - the politically correct brigade are entwined so deeply into the fabric of our society that we can no longer express ourselves artistically.
What a load of utter crap.
Archive for the Rants CategoryIn which rampaging political correctness strikes at the very heart of all that is sacred. So, Wifie - the Christmas Spirit being upon her - decided to buy a “Best Ever Christmas Songs Ever Ever Volume 29″ album. You know the one, Noddy Holder, Chris de Burgh - the kind of thing you can only ever stomach at christmas time but without which, well, it just isn’t right. So there I was, archiving off some old Oracle logs while the Christmas CD was playing in the background. And then Fairytale of New York came on. “That’s strange,” thought I, “that doesn’t sound like Shane McGowan.” And indeed it didn’t because it wasn’t. It was Ronan Sodding Keating. With some other nontentity. “What what what what what?” quoth I. “You can’t have Fairytale of new York without The Pogues? What possible reason could they have for sticking a really crap cover version on the CD when the real version has been on every christmas album ever made?” I’ll tell you, ladies and gentlemen. The Lyrics. They’ve. Changed. The. Lyrics. You know, those beautiful perfect lyrics that paint a vivid and eloquent picture of two old has-beens having a cat fight and then making up on christmas eve. They’ve taken out the word “faggot” (you know, “you scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot”) but, bizarrely, left in “arse” (remember? “Happy christmas your arse, I pray God it’s our last”). This is NOT political correctness. This is abusive political revisionism, and the only place this can possibly lead to is the burning of books. Right. Now pay attention while I make something completely clear. It’s not “The Festive Season”. Neither is it “The Holiday Season”. It’s CHRISTMAS. That’s right, CHRISTMAS. With the word CHRIST in it. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, well, then that’s a shame but we’re all entitled to our beliefs. Just as we are entitled to refer to OUR holiday in OUR country in any way we see fit, thankyouverymuch. OK. So, yesterday I received my 13th request from a semi-stranger to join his network on Facebook. Let me make this as completely clear as I possibly can, to save anyone else from asking. I do not have a facebook account. I will never have a facebook account. I have no interest whatsoever in YOUR facebook account, or the facebook accounts of anyone else you might think you know. Let me repeat that, just in case the subtler nuances of my points evaded you: I do not have a facebook account. I will never have a facebook account. I have no interest whatsoever in YOUR facebook account, or the facebook accounts of anyone else you might think you know. ‘kthxbye. Oh my God! I never realised! It’s BORING lessons that kids skive off from, not INTERESTING ones! In the name of all that’s holy, how much money was squandered on this research project? More to the point, what are they going to be “revealing” next? “Bread and Cheese linked to Cheese Toasties”? “Driving Cars linked to Getting Places Quicker”? Guys - I think I may have mentioned this before, but, you know how the mid-atlantic current distributes heat around the northern hemisphere due to the fine balance of salinity in the ocean? Well, while you’re mucking about with pointless, obvious and irrelevant research projects, the Arctic ice pack is melting and dumping millions of gallons of fresh water right in the middle of it. Just thought I’d say. |
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