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Stuff I'm listening to
Tweetings- Question you don't want to be asked five minutes after waking: "Which recording of #Wagner's Ring Cycle would you recommend?" about 20 hours ago from web
- Night on the synth. I remember when I used to have nights on the tiles. 08:45:05 PM September 01, 2010 from web
- New blog post: Morphine in C - Ok, so driven in from the garden by a plethora of wasps and one annoying neighbour, I... http://ow.ly/18NFJh 12:32:25 PM August 31, 2010 from HootSuite
- Back to work today. It's just not right. 06:41:58 AM August 31, 2010 from web
- #korg microkorg is a wonderful synth. I'd have killed for this twenty years ago. Replaces a roomful of boards and patches. 05:58:24 PM August 29, 2010 from web
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Lunchtime Tales Archive
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Finding Jesus in my soup
Posted on February 9, 2010 | No CommentsDavid stared into the bowl of soup where the face of Jesus had materialised and wondered why The Man looked so much like a serial killer. “I mean, if you’re the Son of God you can look like anyone, right?” The face widened its eyes... -
Incoming!
Posted on April 8, 2009 | 1 CommentThe pigeon emitted a ghastly shriek as it spun out of the sky and strafed the pavement by my feet. I leapt nimbly to the side and kicked out with one foot, sending the hideous creature hurtling headlong into a nearby bush. “Aha! Take that!”... -
Crepe Paper Suit
Posted on April 8, 2009 | No CommentsIt was early in the evening when the leathery little chap in the crepe paper suit first approached me as I was walking through the park. He did not do so directly, but instead walked past on my right hand side, circled around behind me,... -
Boing.
Posted on March 26, 2009 | 1 CommentMy ears twitched in annoyance at the springing fool in front of me. Up and down he bounced, grinning inanely and clapping his hands over his head. Clearly, having massive coiled springs attached to his feet had driven off his sanity. “Woooooooooo” he cried. “Look... -
Fish Spoon Phone
Posted on March 24, 2009 | 1 CommentKio said Fish. John D said Spoon. Alex was on the phone. Hence, the following. The ground shook as the great, flapping, pufferfish bounced down the street towards me. It was one of the weird deep-sea varieties – all teeth and spikes – and didn’t... -
Elephant-faced man.
Posted on March 24, 2009 | No CommentsI hit the ground with a thump, danced around a little, and then grinned cheerfully at nothing in particular. The elephant-faced man hit the ground a few feet behind me, but at a considerably higher velocity (due to the additional mass he carried in the... -
Teacup explosion.
Posted on August 9, 2005 | No CommentsIt did – with a very loud bang and a splattering of delicious orangey brown beverage. It wasn’t made clear to me at the time exactly why the teacup exploded, but explode it most certainly did. I was a small boy a the time, no... -
Ectoplasm
Posted on April 26, 2005 | No CommentsI once had opportunity to visit a strange old lady who swore blind she could nasally extrude ectoplasm. She’d sit there, in the dark, rocking gently, and then whoop loudly, causing me to leap in the air. Invisible to all eyes except hers, a languid... -
Onions for sale!
Posted on April 22, 2005 | No CommentsAs I was walking to the wash-house one day, I happened upon a little man pushing a very large cart. I approached him and noticed his particularly leathery visage, which seemed to fit very well with his miniature stature.. “Good Morning,” I said. “Good Morning... -
Recursive Pachydermic Snufflings
Posted on October 28, 2004 | No CommentsEffie the elephant isn’t so much an elephant as an elefumble. The difficulty comes when her nasty habit becomes apparent. Effie is known to frequent the darker and danker regions of the less salubrious airports where she indulges in her passion for luggage snuffling. She...