The Clan of the Cave Bague

Okay, so I work in I.T. As a result of this, I know more than my fair share of acronyms – both three-letter and otherwise.

This notwithstanding, I found this book bewildering in the extreme. Not because it reads like stereo instructions (it does) and not because of the acronyms (after all, they are spelled out in English the first time each one is named). Well, ok, the acronym’s were a part of it – by the time I was 75% of the way through, all the major technical terms and acronyms had been defined and were therefore used freely. In huge, opaque, paragraph-sized chunks. But they weren’t the main problem.

My problem is, simply put, this: This is a book about a submarine. Tom Clancy writes with utter conviction and passion. Which left this question echoing in my big ol’ empty head.

How, in the name of all that’s sacred, can ANYONE get SO WORKED UP about a sodding submarine??

I mean, really!

I haven’t finished this, and I’m not going to. There are two compelling (for me) reasons why this is the case.

Firstly, it’s written in the present tense and that irritates the hell out of me. I have no justification for this – it just does. The irritation of the tense is simply greater than the draw of the narrative.

This, on its own, wouldn’t stop me from reading a novel – it’s the secondary issue that is causing me the most grief. I need to read something which will immerse me totally. The Twilight Saga, for all its faults, has gripped me so deeply that every word I write is being influenced by it. I’m not trying to write Ms Meyer’s story, thanks – I’m trying to write my own.

As a result, I’m heading for the generic safety oTom Clany.

I make no apologies. I really enjoyed these books. I’m also glad I decided to split my mini-reviews as well, although I should have just covered all four at once. So, we know the plot – human girl meets vampire boy, romance ensues, strife arises and is resolved. The End. As far as the plot goes, stretching fairly elegantly over the four volumes, it’s all very entertaining. I only really have two issues.

The central two books are, well, bleak. Like really bleak. Even as a 38 year old bloke, I found myself surprisingly affected by the wringer that the central characters get put through – god knows what the teenagers of the target audience make of it.

Which, I guess, brings me to my second issue. The relationships in these books give me some cause for concern – not the moral or cross-species aspects, but the utter selfless perfection of them. People just don’t behave the way these characters do. This is fine – I’m an adult and I can see that. Thing is, a youngster discovering their first taste of romance through these novels just might use those relationships as the yardstick to measure their own stumbling first steps and – trust me on this – may be bitterley disappointed.

But hey – it’s fantasy and I’m an old fuddy duddy.

I will finish on a high-note. After the depressing middle section, the final book really ups the tempo and even delivers quite a few laughs along the way. Ok, there’s an utterley ludicrous deus ex machina in there, but who cares – it’s no worse than Harry bloody Potter in that regard

My recently awakened inner teenager has been effectively slapped down by a quick and brutal application of mud, steel, mud, murder, mud, betrayal, mud, sinister priests, mud, torture and mud.

Once again, Mr Cornwell’s prose lurches between exhilirating drama and tedious history lectures, but to a lesser degree than in Winter King. In other words, this one isn’t quite so much work and the author of Sharpe shows through quite clearly.

Cringe. Ahem. I really really enjoyed this book It’s pretty lightweight and can be read in two days (as I did) but I’d really recommend reading it over three. It’s the middle-third that does it. It’s so reeking with love-lorn teenage angst (put it this way – it quotes Romeo & Juliet) that if you stop reading half way through (as I did) you’ll spend a significant amount of time moping around the place like an Emo Kid (like I did).

I am so glad my teenage years are very very far behind me

OMG I’m like SO TOTALLY emo! Ahem. Alright, so this is clearly written specifically for confused young girls, but really – it’s extremely likeable. Yeah, so you have to keep wringing it out to get rid of the dripping angst, the whole thing is utterley implausable, and there are plot gaps you could drive Saturn through, but it’s still a really enjoyable, straightforward, and not at all sinister book.

In which nothing actually happens. But still…..

9/10 I reckon.

What an awesome book! Wizard and Glass is the fourth installment of the Dark Tower series and deals, primarily, with an event in the childhood of Roland of Gilead. Not much point in saying any more than that because those familiar with the Dark Tower will already know, and those who aren’t really should read The Gunslinger first.

So, on the advice of my big sis, I am going to persist with the rest of Aftermath.

Edit Life is just too short. One more chapter. Miserable characters, depressing plot. I like dark, I just don’t like gloomy

Despite loving music and loving reading, I very rarely do both at the same time. For some reason, though, while sitting on the sofa reading “Wizard and Glass” this morning, I felt an urge to put on “Greetings from Asbury Park N.J.” by the inimitable Mr Springsteen.

I wonder if Stephen King was listening to this album while writing – it seems like such an incredibly appropriate soundtrack. Or maybe it’s just because it’s an album I really like. Either way, it’s an awesome experience – you should try it sometime.

I don’t give up on a book very often. Almost never, in fact. But I just can’t go on with this one. I bought it on spec – I generally don’t read crime novels, but thought I’d give it a go as it’s had pretty good reviews. I just can’t seem to enjoy it – other than the protagonist, there aren’t any other three dimensional characters; there are only suspects, witnesses, victims and policemen. Ok, so I’m a writer (or would like to be if the buggers would let me), and it’s helpful for me to read fiction that I don’t like, so I can analyse it and work out WHY I don’t like it. That doesn’t mean I have to finish the bloody thing

So, back to The Tower I go. Wizard and Glass awaits.

I love it when a book surprises me. It doesn’t happen very often, sadly, but it did with this one. World War Z not only surprised me, but…. well, hang on – let’s back up a bit. From reading the dust cover, you’d think this was an action / horror story. World invaded by zombies, mankind fighting back, etc etc. And it is that, but it’s a lot more as well.

The book is written as a series of interviews – not with ‘important’ people, but with everyday front-line people: a blind japanese guy who survives alone in the wilderness; the doctor who witnesses one of the earliest cases of zombification; a navy diver who works defending the bases of oilrigs from the undead on the seabed and so on. But so well written are these ‘interviews’, that each of the thirty or so characters are alive and vibrant, with their own voice and opinions and – here’s the surprising bit – often contradictory views of the war.

Far from being a “Joe went here, did that, then come back” novel, World War Z reads like a series of articles which would not be out of place in National Geographic or Time Magazine. There’s commentry on almost any aspect of society you care to mention – war, peace, the cult of celebrity, capitalism, communism, religion – everything is in there.

And in the background, ever present, are the lurching groaning shapes of the living dead.

I don’t know who reads these mini-reviews, but you’re here now. You really should read this book. It’s unlikely to change your life, but it will certainly change your view of horror fiction. I really can’t recommend it highly enough. Humour me.