The Clan of the Cave Bague

If you look up the definition of ‘useless thing’, you’d probably find a level 2 Ralts. Or maybe even a level 5 Ralts. Anyway, I’m still at Oldale town cos I’m doing a spot of levelling up on Wurmples and Poochenas. My Mudkip is at level 10 now and the others are all between 5 and 7. My Wurmple has evolved already – into a Silcoon. So there’s another entry for the Pokedex.

For some reason, Pokemon brings out the obsessive in me. And not just me – my oldest lad has a Pokemon Ruby save with some 300 hours on it. That can’t possibly be healthy. Anyway, I’m telling myself that, although I completed Ruby and Sapphire, I didn’t get more than maybe a quarter of the pokemon that were up for grabs. But I’m going to this time. Oh yes.

Emerald, like Crystal, Yellow, etc, is basically a remix of two other games – Ruby and Sapphire. It contains elements of both with a few tweaks here and there. It says a lot for the franchise that it still feels fresh enough for someone like me to spend a stupid amount of time playing it. It’s kinda like ‘Final Fantasy Lite’, but there’s enough depth to the stats engine to make it possible to bluff to your friends that it’s not for kids at all. Which it is. But shoosh.

So, anyway, I started out by choosing a mudkip, got him up to level ten, and then proceeded to catch another five pokemon to give me my starting six. And here they are:

For those who may not know, that’s a Mudkip, a Zigzagoon, a Poochyena, a Ralts, a Wingull and a Wurmple. And they all have cutsie names that I chose myself, but I’m not telling you what they are because they’re personal. And embarressing. Oh, alright then, there’s Bague (of course), Jaggybum, Owf, Spotty, Flappy and Wriggly. So there. So, I guess that’s me ready to head out into the big stupid cutsie world, then.

Phew! The last boss was a tough one! Took me three attempts, but I got there in the end. The last save was standing at a little over 35 hours, bringing the cartridge total to about 60 hours. In both Final Fantasy I and in II, there was a lot more levelling, optional sub quests, and item gathering I could have done. I think I could probably have added another 15 or so hours on.

As well as that, I’ve unlocked two sub-games, one in each of the main games, where you play a few dungeons as secondary characters. I’ll do these eventually, but for now I’m all Final Fantasied out. Which is a shame really, as I managed to pick up Final Fantasy VI for the PS1 in Game the other day for three quid

So – verdict – ACEBEST cart – one of the best on the GBA. Two tips for those of you following in my footsteps, though (and I know there are at least two of you):

1) Talk to Paul before you enter the cyclone. He has some stuff which you’re going to need and you won’t be able to get it after this point.

2) Talk to the Widow in the castle where the Wyvvern was after the Wyvvern has hatched.

If you don’t do these two things, the final stages of the game will be very very difficult. Trust me.

Ultima Tome GET! Legged it out of the tower and back to the castle, only to discover that most of the cities have been blown to bits by the Emperor’s cyclone.

So, charged up into the cyclone on the back of a Wyvvern and found myself in a big scary citadel full of nastier creatures than I’ve encountered before. Made short work of them, though – thanks to Ultima being a bit good (at least it is after it’s been levelled up a little).

Defeatored the Emperor, but I’m not going to say what happens next cos it’s a bit of a giveaway, but it’s not the end of the game yet.

On a cheery note – BARGAIN GET! Found Final Fantasy VI for PS1 in a second hand bin for 2.97, so that’ll be another one you’ll be hearing a lot of.

Leviathan escaped! I’ve finally managed to get inside that infernal tower and….. it’s vast. I’m on level seven at the moment. Every two levels there’s an elemental mage blocking the path. The creatures are getting a little trickier now, but I still outrank them a little.

Looks like the top-of-tower boss might be a toughie. After that, I guess it’ll be a showdown with the Dark Lord (for it is he).

Crystal Rod GET! The cave on the Mysidia continent was as easy as an easy thing. There’s not been many hugely difficult sections of FFII so far, but then as a long-time Final Fantasy fan, I understand the importance of levelling up and doing loads of random encounters, so my party is pretty uber

After retrieving the rod, I thought it prudent to do a bit more levelling – particularly Maria’s ‘osmosis’ (mana drain) and ‘death’ (what it says) spells, so I went for a spot of monster-hunting on the plains.

Duly levelled, I set sail in my little ship to the island where I think the Tower Of Doom(tm) is. Except – oh no! I’ve been eaten by a grue! I was sucked into a whirlpooly type thing and found myself in a red, fleshy dungeon. And Leila is missing (which is a blow, because she’s a dab hand with dual-sabres).

And it doesn’t have doors and stairs – it has valves and SPHINCTERS! Eeewwww!

White Mask Get! White Mask Placed! Time to head off to a cave to find the crystal rod which will allow access to the tower where the Ultima tome is hid0red.

Not encountering anthing remotely health threatening at the moment, but I have noticed a sharp increase in nastier creatures since getting the masks. I have a funny feeling the mid-game calm is about to break….

Yesterday, my five year old girl was stung by a wasp at school. She was very upset. Her teacher was unable to give her a hug in case she’s sued. Her teacher was unable to put vinegar on the sting in case she’s sued. As a result, my daughter had to spend an extended period of time upset and in pain. So:

Dear Society

Stop being such a bunch of spineless bloody idiots.

Love

John

ps I’m going to sue for the needless distress and pain my child has been caused.

Bah – the secret passage to the white mask wasn’t where I thought it was. Which stands to reason, given that it wasn’t exactly a secret place. Anyway, I had a wee chat with Paul who did, in fact, know where the passage was and I’m now in a shin new dungeon under the castle. It’s hoaching with Adamantoises, though, but level 8 fire makes short work of them. I think once I’ve got the white mask, I need to do a bit of levelling before proceeding, cos my party is seriously unbalanced at the moment.

Back from Paris and what a dreadful, dreadful place that is. Still, a small amount of gameboying was dutifully carried out. I now have a shiny black mask and a cryptic incantation. The mask doesn’t do what I thought it might with the mirror, so I may have to hunt down Paul to have a chat with him. I need to get past the mirror to get the white mask, and I need the white mask (I think) to start getting some staffs which I need to get the Ultima Tome. Gah.

Missed my boys and girls. Very very glad to be back.