Wasting bandwidth since 1996

Well, there’s a thing.

I’m sure anyone who’s had an interest even slightly deeper than the most casual gamer will know the name Julian Gollop. There’s a good chance you’ll know he has a brother and together they’re produced some of the very finest turn-based tactical science fiction games in the history of videogaming. Here’s some buzz-titles: X-com, rebelstar, laser squad nemesis, chaos.

Now that you’ve had a chance to plug those names into google, you’ll no doubt be dribbling at the mouth at the thought of such a title on the humble Gameboy Advance. And quite rightly so, because it’s the perfect medium. The digital controllers feel a little clunky so far, but then it’s completely tilebased so smooth analogue motion really isn’t required. Graphically, it’s not a grenades throw from Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. In terms of stats, there should be plenty to keep you occupied, with each character having multiple attributes. There are also a few specialisation to spend your hard earned experience points on.

So far, I’m on mission five. This is still a tutorial mission, but the tutorials are essential to complete, even if only to remind yourself of how the action points system works and how to keep a track of who has initiative and who doesn’t

It’s complex, it’s fiddly, it’s ACE. As I haven’t launched into the game proper, yet, I can’t really comment on the AI but the Gollop boys aren’t known for giving us gamers an easy time.

“Don’t Panic!” the newspapers scream.

“Meeeeeeehhhhhhh!” bleats the population of Midlothian. “Meeeeh? What are we not supposed to panic about? Fuel? Protests? Fuel protests? MeeeeeeEEEAAH! Look! A petrol pump with one person waiting!”

“THE SKY IS FALLING IN”

And so the newspapers create a fuel shortage where none existed.

None existed because there are no protests planned for Scotland. None. Not one.

Every part of this game, including the bosses has been an absolute joy. Alongside the main quest there’s all the miniatures to collect, the kinstones to join, and all the exploring to do. So why bother adding a fecking irritatingly long winded battle at the end?

It’s not that the final boss is difficult, cos it’s not – it’s just like the others except rather than using your latest weapon to defeat him you have to use pretty much all of them. No, it’s the length of time it takes to actually GET to the boss, coupled with the fact that you’re unlikely to get their without losing any health. I’ve only actually attempted the boss battle about five times and I know I could get him if I did another five attempts. Sad fact is, though, that it takes twenty five fecking minutes every time.

So – out of the gameboy and back into the box. I’ll give it another go at the weekend when I’m a bit more relaxed. For now, RebelStar Tactical Command is calling……