Gogs and Tony duke it out at long last. Big Gogs’s evil plan is revealed in all its Machiavellian glory. Or something.
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Archive for April, 2005I once had opportunity to visit a strange old lady who swore blind she could nasally extrude ectoplasm. She’d sit there, in the dark, rocking gently, and then whoop loudly, causing me to leap in the air. Invisible to all eyes except hers, a languid ectoplasmic tentacle would peer from her snout and poke around the room, examining all those present. I always found the practice disgusting, preferring to keep a handkerchief in reserve for such moments.
Ok, so I wasn’t going to play anything from the Episode III bits until I’d seen the movie, because I didn’t want any spoilers. Then, I had an epiphany. Hang on, thought I – it’s a George Lucas movie. What am I going to spoil? Bad dialogue and predictable plots? I doubt it. Why do I go to see Star Wars movies? Lightsabres! Will Lego Star Wars spoil lightsabres for me? Nope, not at all. Took about 8 hours, all in. So, it’s a nice little game and it’s appealing to my collecty-bone. Must. Get. More. Coins. Must. Unlock. Everything. In. The. Whole. Universe. Etc. Faberoonies. Also been playing the odd bit of Banjo Kazooie, which is – as everyone knows – just ace.
It’s an interesting thing. Banjo Kazooie is better than Doom 3. In fact, it’s better the most current generation games. I’ve spent far too long on it today, but it’s just such a great game with a brilliant mechanic that it can’t be helped. Also, I’ve never completed it and – as Debbie picked up a mint copy of Banjo Tooie for 3 quid in a charity shop, I’m going to do em both back to back The thing is, there’s a huge amount of stuff to do in BK – you’ve got to collect jigsaw pieces to open areas, collect notes to open others, collect eggs to shoot collect honeycombs to increase health and collect skulls to get VOODOO MAGIC BABY. Then there’s that magnificent feature on the start button which shows you how much of each area you’ve completed, and the insane drive to GET EVERYTHING. Fab. I had a go of Lego Star Wars as well. Superficially, it’s quite short but the amount of unlockables and different types of challenge should give it quite a high degree of replayability. Will I still be playing it ten years after release, like Banjo Kazooie? I doubt it. It’s fun just now though. On iTunes: Grendel from the album “B’sides Themselves” by Marillion
As I was walking to the wash-house one day, I happened upon a little man pushing a very large cart. I approached him and noticed his particularly leathery visage, which seemed to fit very well with his miniature stature.. “Good Morning,” I said. “Good Morning yourself,” he replied. “If you will pardon my curiosity,” I continued, “where would a leathery little chap such as yourself be going with such a large hand cart on a lovely morning like this?” “I will not pardon your curiosity,” he replied, “but will answer nonetheless. I am taking my cart to the market .” I looked at him ascance. “But but but today is a Tuesday. The market is closed on a Tuesday.” At this, the small leathery man appeared somewhat crestfallen. “Bah,” he snorted. “What will I do with my onions now?” He opened the top of his cart, struggling somewhat to reach it. “These are perfect onions, grown by request of the King.” I peered into the top of his cart. I saw no onions, and told him so. “What?” he cried. I reaffirmed my assertion. “Of course there are onions, you fool!” he snorted. “Huge, golden onions, fit for a king!” Taken aback by the leathery man’s obvious conviction, I reassessed the onion-to-nothing ratio of the cart and found it wanting. “I am very sorry,” I explained to the man, “but all I see in your cart are huge, golden, nothings. Perhaps a small child has made off with them while you weren’t paying attention.” “I always pay attention,” snapped the man, meeting me with a hard stare. “You don’t produce onions like that by being whimsical.” He began to move off, lifting the handles of his cart back over his shoulder with not inconsiderable effort. I watched his receding figure as he stalked off towards the market bearing his fictitious onions. I continued on my way to the wash-room, swinging my empty washing bag merrily, and looking forward to spending the morning washing the clothes therein.
Completed this ages ago but I still tend to pop back every once in a while for a wee go. On the toughest difficulty it’s not bad. Basically, it’s a third person medieval slash em up. It’s also amusing as well – I know quite a few Templars and the thought of any of them running around with a sword squishing zombies tickles my chuckle muscles.
I’ve just noticed it’s been so long since I last posted anything here that all the previous postings have fallen off the bottom of the page. Better pop into prefs and increase the timeout time
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2005
Doom 3 (Xbox) (And Doom II) (And Ultimate Doom as well) (And Pikmin)Posted by: John in Game Diary
Well, more creepy corridor crawling last night. I’m making some progress but also finding it a little easy. Still, it’s loads of fun. I had a brief sesh with Classic Doom as well and it was a bit of a jaw dropping moment. Probably because, at the time Doom was originally released, I only had a 386 SX 25 (one of the ill fated Amstrad / Sega MegaPCs – which bizarrely had a built in megadrive) so Doom didn’t run very well. It’s blisteringly quick on the Xbox though, and very frenzied I had a wee go of Pikmin as well – no ship parts found on Day 3 but I spent a lot of time opening up various bomb walls and building up my reserves of tiny pod people.
Bah! The very mention of it in my last posting has urged me to have a wee play. This is such a glorious game and – as my evening gaming is currently filled with Doom 3 and Republic Commando, Pikmin makes for some shiny kid-friendly fun. Currently, I’m at the end of Day 2 with 2 ship parts and 2 onions. I aim to get as many bits as possible in the first few days in the hope of giving myself a bit of breathing space.
Pikmin, as those who have spent the last three years in a cave will undoubtedly by unaware of, was one of the Cube’s launch titles and was, in fact, the game which compelled me to buy a cube in the first place. It’s very cute and very natural – the type of game in which Nintendo excel and prove their position as top game makers of the current generation – regardless of what the sales figures may say. Basically, onions get fed with blobs and produce seeds which hatch into pikmin of various types which you can shuttle about the place to do your dirty work. In the time it’d take me to explain it, you could nip down to the shops and buy it – it’s only 20 quid new and if you have a GameCube, you NEED it. If you don’t have a GameCube…. well, you have my pity.
Despite what the occasionally USENET pundit might say, the current generation of consoles has had some truly great games. Off the top of my head, games I want to either complete or just play through again in the near future are:
Those are just the ones that are constantly swimming about in my head as “must play soons”. Titles like Cel Damage and Scooby Doo : Night of 100 frights still get the occasional bit of play. Then there’s stuff like Viewtiful Joe and Crystal Chronicles that I ‘ve barely looked it. I’ve accumulated a veritable Armada of fab titles that I just haven’t had time to do justice. Then there’s the up-and-comings – the new zelda game, Lego Starwars, not to mention those sneak hits that appear unannounced from nowhere. Like I said, the current Gen is great.
Ok, girly moment. Dark dark room. I can hear snufflings and stuff. Not good. I wish I could hold a gun and a torch at the same time. Oh well, nowt for it. Should I chance a quick switch to the flashlight? I can definitely hear something. Flick on the torch. BIG DEAD THING COMING AT ME FROM ABOUT A FOOT AWAY! Aaaaargh! So, squeal out loud, squeak many expletives. What to do? I can’t take my eyes of it. A sensible person in control of his reflexes would switch to the shotgun and blow it away. Not me, though. Oh no. I’m a squealy pansy-foo-foo. Five seconds later and I come to my sense and realised I beat the thing to death with my flashlight.
Ho hum. Another day in Doom 3 land. I was going to get RedSmartie to join me in a co-op match but it never quite happened. Another time
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